What a Day

Stood around talking to my neighbor Shelly for a long time this morning when I walked down the road to get more goat's milk for Phoenix. I'd decided that maybe I really did want to disbud (remove the horns of) the two little boy goats after all; Jenny's quite scared of the momma goat even though her horns are not very long; she and Katie enjoy these little guys so much that I'd hate to have them scared of Phoenix and Gryphon as their horns start to grow. Jenny's been hanging out with them for hours every afternoon since last weekend, when the Two Stooges (aka Daddy and I) built a little (75'x75') fenced-in area in the front yard for momma goat and her boys.

Shelly said that she and Cheryl (who also has goats and runs 4H here in town) were going to disbud some new baby goats today and that they'd come by and check to see if Phoenix and Gryphon's horns were still small enough to burn off.

Now, Phoenix is so small that he really just had little tiny bumps and the disbudding was no big deal. They clipped his hair around the horns and then used a hot horn-burning-off thing (no idea what it's called; it looked kind of like a tubular wood burning tool). Gryphon, who is HUGE, was a different matter--his horns had started to grow--they were maybe a third of an inch long. So, after the burning, they had to trim the burned part off with a knife, then cauterize it again. Blood squirted all over and he yelled bloody murder, opening his mouth wide and sticking his little tongue out while making an altogether amazing amount of noise.

The whole process was very difficult (probably more difficult for Gryphon than for me, but he's forgotten about it by now and I'm still obsessing over it, as you can see--). In general I'm against doing things to animals to remove them from what I would consider their 'natural' state, so this was a tough call. But over the last few days I've done lots of 'goat research' and found that they can hurt each other with their horns, or get them stuck in a fence, which with our 100 degree summer months could be a matter of life or death very quickly. Not to mention that they could hurt one of my human kids...

Of course, both babies are out running around on the rocks as I write this. They're fine; it'll take me a little bit more time. Sometimes even doing what you think is right is difficult.

Oh, What a Giftie from the Housewife!

The box from Pissed Off Housewife came late yesterday afternoon--I waited until everyone was home, and the kids all crowded round to watch me open the box...

And then we all laughed! Housewife sent me two bottles of "Mad Housewife" Wine, and they're wonderful! I love any and all wine--like many a mad housewife, I'm sure. The labels are absolutely classic,and the only thing that would make them better would be if they actually said "Pissed Off Housewife!"

My son looked at the label and said in a worried voice "that's not actually her, is it?" (I'm sure the thought of that woman authoring Titty Talk Tuesdays was almost too much for him to bear).

Housewife, thank you so much! You and Mrs. D. did great. I just may open one tonight--it's been quite a day around here.

Today I told my neighbor who came down to help de-horn the baby goats--the only thing that would make it better is if Pissed Off Housewife showed up to drink it with me! (You're famous around here, you know, Housewife--I've told everyone in town about you!)

Here's what it says on the back of the bottle--such poetry!

Somewhere near the cool shadows of the laundry room.
Past the litter box and between the plastic yard toys.
This is your time.
Time to enjoy a moment to yourself.
A moment without the madness.
The dishes can wait.

Dinner be damned.

do I need to add an 'amen'?

Illustration Friday Snap

My offering for this week's IF challenge--I actually made this piece some time ago--it was one of the first pieces I sold, if memory serves...

The vintage black snaps running down the side were really the finishing touch.

A Note on the Fridge...

You gotta love her...

It is what it is--but who am I?

I've noticed recently that I'm letting my authentic self show through more and more. What someone else likes or doesn't like has much less bearing on my own tastes, and this is a good thing.

My friend Dianne bought me some notecards while she was at the Getty Museum last week. She said she saw them and thought "Oh, those are weird. I'll bet Karen would like those." Now I'll tell the truth--There's still a part of me that thinks "oh, no, Dianne thinks I'm weird!" But I want the louder voice to be the one that says "I do like them! I don't care if anyone thinks I'm weird! I'm just going to be who I am!"

I read a quote on a blog yesterday that mentioned how we tend to lose our authenticity as we grow older and begin to chase our dreams--I commented that it's when we start to chase others' dreams and worry about what others think that we begin to change. There is no one more real than a nine-year-old girl; I'm forty-three, and I'm just now really getting back to the un-selfconscious little girl I used to be.

This is an ongoing issue for me--why is it that there is no one more potent and energized than a little girl, but if you see that same little girl at age thirteen, all the color and zest and power are gone?

My inner critic is still loud and clear, though I try to smother the sound of her voice.

This whole topic came up because I was going to post a picture of the little piece I made while playing yesterday--I felt as though I needed to apologize for the childish colors and the silly saying and the bad handwriting... Well, I'm not going to. It may not be great art, but it filled a need I had yesterday and I'm going to post it because it feels good to share...

It's been raining since last night, and it's cold and damp again. I"M COLD. The studio is COLD. Normally I like this kind of weather, but today I just feel like snuggling up in front of a roaring fire with a blanket, a cup of hot Earl Grey, and a good book.

Okay--I just put the flannel quilt over the space heater and me, and that feels toasty. I'm sure it's a fire hazard, so I won't do it for long, but aaaaah.

I'm sleepy and lonely.

(Later) So I'm semi-snoozing (is there such a thing?)in the studio, and the phone rings. It doesn't just ring, it beeps for the intercom. Which means THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY HOUSE. IN MY EMPTY HOUSE. Of course, since this person is playing with the phone, I wander on up to see who it is, figuring anyone stupid enough to break into a house and then play with the phones is obviously unarmed...

And it's Hubby! He got fed up at work and decided to come home! (I remember when I was home with three littles how that would have just infuriated me, to think that he could have a job where he could just leave when he wanted to--now, I'm glad it's him working and not me.)

So I envisioned a cozy afternoon at home, just the two of us.

Nope.

He's curled up in the family room watching ESPN. He's curled up with a blanket and the dog he calls 'the great white rat.' So I'm back out in the studio, where it's warm(er) and I feel like getting some work done.

ATCs from Friday

I Wasn't Going to Do This Anymore, But...

Housewife found an Angel

Pissed Off Housewife pointed me to this blog--said she found an angel--and she's right. Wow. Go read this blog of an oncology nurse--

Illustration Friday: I Spy

other Headers

Blog Headers

I've been playing with Photoshop a lot recently--have made some headers for some other bloggers, including Pissed Off Housewife and Kikipotamus the Hobo. These are for Tanaya; I'll post them here and she can let me know which one she likes, because I can't seem to get an email out to her!

I've still got to make a header for Radiant Woman--don't forget, I'll make one for you, too, if you let me know you're interested!

Right Now

I'm in the studio and it's just turning dark. I can hear Jenny and her dad talking out in the barn while she bottle feeds the goat. Tonight I let her walk down to the neighbor's house to get more goat milk, but dad insisted on watching her from the end of the driveway (which is fine, even though, as I heard her point out to him, "It's only one house away, Dad!") She is much more clingy than either of the other two ever were, and while I know it's just a personality thing, I sure want her to feel as though she's competent and that she doesn't have to be clingy...

Turns out that Richard doesn't have this week off like the kids do--his school is off next week. Boo. It'll be fun to be ALONE with him for a week, but I know he's disappointed not to be hanging out with the whole family.

Not that you all need to know this, but WOW! After five years with no dishwasher, I sure am enjoying having one! It makes cleaning up the kitchen so easy. After repainting the cupboards last fall, I was motivated to keep it spotless, but now it's actually easy, too.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Illustration Friday: Total

Couldn't get the image of a box of cereal out of my mind, at first! As usual, I created without knowing exactly where I was headed, just the guideline of "total" to steer me in some direction. Maybe at 43 I'm starting to feel mortal...

Oh, and MORE baby goats...

You're sick of them, right?

Some ATCs

When I had to make loads of ATCs to trade when I went to Art and Soul last year in Monterey, I started making backgrounds in bulk using big sheets of watercolor paper and then cutting that into the size I needed. Now that I'm working digitally more, I'm also scanning these big sheets to incorporate into my digital pieces.

It comes in handy to have the backgrounds already made!

another postcard

Here's another one that I started yesterday and finished today. I think I'm going to get some 8 x 10 frames and mount these on matboard and hang them up...

so here i sit

So here I sit, a one-week-old kid on my lap, trying to do some art. He's all warm and cozy from his nap; he ate 4 oz of goat milk this morning (I have to drag it out over 15-30 minutes so that he doesn't bloat). The biggest problem right now is how to juggle Phoenix the baby goat with the 70 lb puppy who jumps over fences (and who I don't trust with the kid). My one little black dog (chihuahua-terrier? mix) has appointed herself mom to the goat, which helps some. right now we're in the studio and Phoenix is trying to butt Jessie, which may not go over too well.

Yesterday I let the momma goat out of the barn and put Phoenix in with his brother, which would have worked fine except that they escaped from the barn. When I went out at lunchtime, the momma was up by the house (she's an expert escape artist and never stays in the pasture) and the two babies were huddled in the grass by the front of the barn. Phoenix is definitely still small enough that an eagle could pick him up...

Maybe I'll try locking them in the old chicken coop area of the barn--I keep the hay and grain in there now, but they won't be interested in that. They can play safely and won't be able to escape...

Dogs...goats...children...what was I ever thinking???

Postcard Collages

I'm making a note here--when I'm feeling as though I'm struggling, there's nothing better for me to do than to sit down with paper and scissors and glue and stamps and ink. I especially have fun when I limit myself to images I can reach without leaving my chair--it limits me, and that makes me creative. It's like the time I was stuck in the airport for 4 1/2 hours with nothing but my journal, a gluestick, and some Starbucks brochures--I had a great time.

Here's what I did today, in between running to town (20 minute drive) to get Katie a science board, and feeding the baby goat--and don't forget taking care of big kid, who has the fever/headache that Jenny had over the weekend--Oh, and BIRTHDAY SHOPPING for Katie--she turns twelve on Thursday!

Finding Water

I just read Leah's post on the Finding Water Blog, and it so echoes how I feel. I am struggling, just as Leah mentioned she is--I did at least part of my morning pages every day this last week, but never first thing in the morning--I didn't do an Artist's Date, and I didn't take a walk. This week just seemed to gobble me up--there was nothing of me left to share.

I was out of my Zoloft for three days, which I'm sure hasn't helped. I didn't sleep well while waiting for the baby goats to arrive--had an unpleasant meeting at school--my dad's other ear "went out", so now he can't hear at all--I miss talking to him every day on the phone and feel so cut off! Richard's leaving for an accreditation in Barstow tomorrow and will be gone most of the week--The momma goat appears to be rejecting the smaller of the two babies--luckily the neighbor has a goat with too much milk...of course my girls are thrilled at the idea of bottlefeeding a baby goat.

Anyhow, I'm feeling overwhelmed. This week I'm going to make a point of doing my morning pages in the morning before the kids get up--I won't miss any days of my medication, now that my prescription's refilled--and I will do an Artist's Date and a Walk.

One bright spot is that I've been practicing my piano and loving it so much! My next lesson is this Thursday morning, and I'm looking forward to it.

some more baby goats

The girls decided on Phoenix (grey) and Gryphon (brown). Aren't they cute?

Some Blogging Etiquette Questions

I have some questions--please answer!

1. If someone posts questions, do I answer in the comments, or in a new post, or do I email them an answer?

2. If I want to put a link to someone's blog, should I ask them first?

3. If I visit someone's blog regularly, should I leave comments? (I already know the answer to this one, because I LOVE comments so much--) but, this leads to the next question:

4. If I visit someone's blog regularly and want to leave a comment instead of only lurking, does my comment have to pertain to a specific post, or is it alright to just say "I love reading your blog!"?

5. If I want to send something to someone who comments regularly, is it too weird to say "I want to send you something, would you mind giving me your address?" I did this with Tammy, and she didn't seem to think I was stalking her... but I don't want to creep people out.

6. Is is better to do one long post per day on many topics, or are several different posts during the day okay?

IF Wired

Kikipotamus wrote:

"You have GOATS? GOATS??? I am so envious. What else do you have? Are goats really mean? I mean are the mischievous? Can they be affectionate? I have so many questions. This mama sure is beautiful."

Yes, GOATS--five of them, now. We also have, in no particular order, two big dogs, two little dogs, five cats, one lonely chicken, and six fish. And three children.

No, goats are NOT really mean--they're very affectionate if they've been raised around people (ours have been). As for mischievous--no, I don't think so, particularly, although they do play with each other and run around. The momma pictured in the earlier post also likes to play with the big puppy, although the goat thinks the puppy's a goat, and the puppy thinks the goat is a dog. They have completely different styles of play, and it's pretty funny to watch.

We have had trouble keeping them in the pasture--most mornings when I come outside they're standing on the front porch nibbling on my rosebushes (is that mischievous, or just hungry?)

I made friends with a goat at my cousin's house when I was little--they seem to me to be very friendly and fun to have around. I've always wanted to have some, but last year we just sort of 'fell into' having these...

Here are the babies--not a very good video, and they're not very perky, as they're both little boys and they got banded today--to stop them from turning into BIG BOYS.

P.S. the horrible sniffing sound you hear is not me :) it's the momma goat sniffing and then bumping the camera--you can see her shadow and tail on the left...

A Bad Hair Day

From yesterday--before I got my hair cut...

Does this mean I'm a Gramma?

Ducky had her babies last night between 2 a.m. and 5 a.m.! Triplets, two boys and a girl--the girl only lived a couple of hours--something wasn't right. The other two are doing fine.

There's a definite size discrepancy between these two little brothers, though--the brown one is HUGE compared to the little grey one. The kids and I have decided we won't name them today--we'll use today to find good names--we're thinking maybe from mythology or the Bible--So if anyone has any suggestions, let me know!

Mountain Views

Took this on my morning walk this fall.

A Night on Maternity Watch

The wonderful man who built my studio for me stopped by the other day to see how I was doing, and when he saw the one littlest goat, he said "She's due any day now." and then went into details of how he knew, which I won't bore you with here...

So little Ducky is locked in the big stall in the barn and she and poor Roseblossom are forced to nuzzle each other through the openings. I guess they're better friends than I knew.

I'm so hoping that this birth goes better than the one in January. I'm sure it will all happen in the middle of the night, maybe at 5 a.m. so that I've gotten up many times during the night to check her... She's definitely (what do I know?) in labor. The only labors I've attended have been my own, and I didn't get to see much--but as far as I can tell, it'll be today or tomorrow.

Some experimental blog banners

I've been having fun playing with some wonderful free PS brushes from Annika von Holdt (see button to the right) as well as experimenting with making my own brushes. I've been sifting through all my images to find ones for new brushes!

A Blog Banner for You?

I've been playing with Photoshop and messing around with the idea of changing my blog banner on a regular basis. Last night I was trying to think of other "real" reasons to create digital images, and I wondered if any of you out there would want me to create a blog banner for you? It would give me more of a purpose, and though I'm not guaranteeing that you'd like the banner, I'd certainly try to make one that fits your style. It would give me a goal/challenge in much the same way that Illustration Friday does.

I know that many of you who visit here are artists and could make your own blog banner--

Well. Let me know in the comments if you're interested. You certainly don't have to use it just because I make it--you could just post it in one entry, if you wanted, or not post it at all. I can hear myself apologizing for even PRESUMING that anyone would be interested--stop it, Karen!

I'll post a few of my experiments from last night.

Create a Connection: Getting to Know You

From Create a Connection's "Get To Know You Wednesday".


1a. What is one thing about your body that you hate, deny, talk trash about? My feet. They're kind of stubby looking. I used to hate my eyebrows (thought they were too dark) and my hands (used to call them "monkeypaws"), but now I'm okay with both of those. Hopefully I'll come to love my feet, too.

1b. What can you do to make friends with this part and show it a little love? I had my first pedicure last summer and it was amazing! I loved how they looked--bright red nail polish with sandals--sublime!

2a. What is one thing about your home that doesn't feel good? The clutter that everyone leaves lying around--I know, I should just pick it all up, but that feels like a bad habit (for the kids).

2b. What is one thing you can do to change that? I'm thinking I'm just going to give one warning, and then throw things out. Shouldn't take long before they're putting their stuff away.

3a. Is there a relationship that you have difficulty with? My sister. There are lots of times I know she's mad at me for something but have no idea what. There are long stretches where she won't talk to me.

3b. What is something small you can do to either salvage it or come to terms with the way it is now? It is what it is. I can't stop her from being angry, but I can keep on loving her.

4a. Is there something you are afraid to do, but would like to try it? I don't know if afraid is the right word--I'd love to try doing some long distance walking/hiking. When I was really depressed I used to think about just walking down the street and not stopping, like the main character in Anne Tyler's Ladder of Years. I never did it because I'd have had to take myself along, and that's what I was trying to get away from. Now I don't want to disappear, just walk.

4b. What can you do to begin a plan to try it? Hmmm. Not sure. Just start walking every single day, I guess. I'd like to post my mileage on a map and see if I could "walk across the U.S.".

Illustration Friday: Hide

I must confess: I have no idea why this represents "hide" for me, but I've been working on this for a couple of hours now, and I rejected so many other images that I know that this must have some deeper meaning for me.

I love the colors on this--the turquoise blue and orange red really set each other off.

On a side note, the piano lessons (which I know are a direct result of working through Finding Water) went great. I'm so excited, and I've already been practicing. The most challenging part right now will be my assignment to write a short piece for myself. I had a good melody in my head last night, but of course it was gone this morning... I've been listening to Glenn Gould playing Bach's Goldberg Variations all morning, and I'm inspired.