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Thursday, March 29, 2007

It is what it is--but who am I?

I've noticed recently that I'm letting my authentic self show through more and more. What someone else likes or doesn't like has much less bearing on my own tastes, and this is a good thing.

My friend Dianne bought me some notecards while she was at the Getty Museum last week. She said she saw them and thought "Oh, those are weird. I'll bet Karen would like those." Now I'll tell the truth--There's still a part of me that thinks "oh, no, Dianne thinks I'm weird!" But I want the louder voice to be the one that says "I do like them! I don't care if anyone thinks I'm weird! I'm just going to be who I am!"

I read a quote on a blog yesterday that mentioned how we tend to lose our authenticity as we grow older and begin to chase our dreams--I commented that it's when we start to chase others' dreams and worry about what others think that we begin to change. There is no one more real than a nine-year-old girl; I'm forty-three, and I'm just now really getting back to the un-selfconscious little girl I used to be.

This is an ongoing issue for me--why is it that there is no one more potent and energized than a little girl, but if you see that same little girl at age thirteen, all the color and zest and power are gone?

My inner critic is still loud and clear, though I try to smother the sound of her voice.

This whole topic came up because I was going to post a picture of the little piece I made while playing yesterday--I felt as though I needed to apologize for the childish colors and the silly saying and the bad handwriting... Well, I'm not going to. It may not be great art, but it filled a need I had yesterday and I'm going to post it because it feels good to share...


marie said...

Thank you for sharing. I found much of myself in your comments. I teach kindergarten and know of these energized young girls you speak of and wonder the same. They are bold and daring and can do anything. Me, at 45, am still working at authenticity.

I love you squelched your critic because you inspired me today!

Leah said...

first off, before i read any of your words, i saw the image and i loved it instantly! there was something very raw about it that i just liked a lot. i'm glad you didn't apologize (although i'm guilty of that at times too, it makes me crazy when other artists apologize for their work because there's never a need to. not everyone will like it perhaps, but who cares really. that's what makes the world go round.)

i'm also working on that authenticity thing. it's so hard to dig back to that. i'm glad you can remember being that way at 9, for me it goes further back to maybe 5 when i was all me.

p.s. i always take weird as a compliment. who wants to be normal? how boring! :-)

DonnaG said...

I absolutey love this piece - especially the colors. It's absolutely beautiful. And thank you so much for sharing.

Jessie said...

i love your art!!! actually, i think your artwork would make VERY cool cards. THEY should be in a museum store! i know that i would buy them! :)

Elizabeth said...

I love this card and the 'new' you in the card - or the old you re-emerging! It is bold, direct, and fun. I liked it immediately.

I so hear where you are coming from. Thanks for sharing.

tammy vitale said...

OH GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! you go grrrl!

Karen Beth said...

Lovely thoughts... thanks for sharing. :)

Pissed OFF Housewife said...

I adore Karen Without Apology

It's very nice to hear.

Paula said...

Love the open door concept!
Interesting thought about loosing the enthusiasm. I want to be like my dd (7) who creates without judging her work or worrying about what others will say about it.