She let go and found she could fly...
Friday, February 29, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Exercises from Kaleidoscope
I did some exercises from Suz Simanaitis' book, Kaleidoscope. The directions are from the section written by Juliana Coles--would I ever love to take her Extreme Journalling class someday.
I'm also going to join in on the journal exercises over at Lost Luggage...
Monday, February 25, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
You Make My Day!
Deb over at Vintage Moon Studios has given me the "You Make My Day" award! (I'll let you in on a little secret: I love getting an award--I'm like Sally Fields, saying "You like me! You really like me!"--because I'm never sure of myself. I like external reinforcement, just like Pavlov's dogs...)
The rules for the “You Make My Day” award are to re-present it to 10 people whose blogs bring you happiness and inspiration and make you feel happy about blog land. Let them know through email or by posting a comment on their blog so they can pass it on.
These are some of the blogs that I read every single day--Check them out when you have some time!
Elizabeth at Elizabeth's Blog
Andrea at C'est Andrea Design and Textile Art Blog-Paris
Dawn Houser at her BlaBla Blahg
Lynn at Getting My Feet Wet
Julie at The Land of Lost Luggage
Sue at Sue Doe-Nim
Maddy at Alien in a Foreign Field
Rosie at Smoky Mountain Breakdown
Kate at Sweet-n-Salty Kate
Leah at Creative Every Day
Friday, February 22, 2008
Easelheads Gallery
Yesterday I drove over to Visalia to pick up my paintings at the gallery, Easelheads, where my paintings have been hanging. Susan had left a message that she was repainting the walls and getting ready to hang some new stuff.
I threw a couple of my newer pieces in the car to show her, and off I went.
When I showed her the new pieces, she said, "I'll hang those!" So the one large piece I had up already, plus two other large-ish pieces, are going to be hanging in the new 'show.' Yay!
Plus, she told me that from now on she will be 'curating' the art at Cafe 225, a cool upscale restaurant there in downtown--and she wants to hang my pieces there, too!
And while I was okay with the idea of getting all my canvases and taking them home and that being the end of my "gallery experience," I must admit that this is MUCH MUCH BETTER.
I threw a couple of my newer pieces in the car to show her, and off I went.
When I showed her the new pieces, she said, "I'll hang those!" So the one large piece I had up already, plus two other large-ish pieces, are going to be hanging in the new 'show.' Yay!
Plus, she told me that from now on she will be 'curating' the art at Cafe 225, a cool upscale restaurant there in downtown--and she wants to hang my pieces there, too!
And while I was okay with the idea of getting all my canvases and taking them home and that being the end of my "gallery experience," I must admit that this is MUCH MUCH BETTER.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Whoops! I Missed a Couple of Days!
Spent the last two days in the house, working on the computers. Our main family computer needed to have the hard drive cleaned up, so first I had to back everything up to a portable hard drive (these are the coolest things, absolutely a great way to back up/make copies of all your digital photos, etc.). Then I had to reformat the hard drive and reinstall Microsoft Word, Adobe Photoshop, and so on. While I was working on that, I thought I would try one more time to get our old old computer up and running. My sister built this computer for us several years ago, and it's a great computer but was slowing down, and we'd given up on it when we got the newer computer. So I got that up and running, copied all the files from it, and reformatted that hard drive, too--and now it works great!
Monday, February 18, 2008
My Garden
[This is a difficult post to write.]
It's odd to me how an event can somehow manage to divide my life into before and after, how thinking about the before and after makes me uncomfortable and nervous and shaky, as though acknowledging it does--what?--gives it even more power? And I know that life is full of befores and afters, that every day, every moment, is a before and an after, and that somehow we all manage to keep going...But still, it's uncomfortable to write about it.
When Richard and I married we bought a house down in town. It had a California-sized backyard, which is to say, not very big, at least compared to Michigan standards. But I immediately started gardening. In fact, now that I think about it, even when I moved to California for my first teaching job at the tender age of twenty-one I rented an apartment that had a little mini-plot next to the back patio, which my mom and I planted during the week she spent out here helping me get settled in... And now that I really think about it, I even wanted to grow plants while I was at Michigan State. I remember during my senior year I potted a red geranium to sit on my bedroom windowsill (I love red geraniums in terracotta pots). It failed to thrive because we lived in a basement apartment, but the urge was there.
So I'm a gardener. Or I was a gardener. But I want to make the point that I've loved gardening for a very long, long time.
When we moved up into the foothills, I changed the pasture fence to create a large space for a garden, with paths and benches and birdbaths. I fell in love, absolutely totally crazy in love, with antique roses. These roses, the musks, bourbons, teas, chinas, and damasks, are the graceful, perfumed older sisters of today's gawky hybrid tea roses. They've lovely names, like Madame Isaac Periere, Louise Odier, Souvenir de la Malmaison, and Arrillaga, and the flowers take your breath away with their scent and their beauty.
And I didn't just love roses, oh no. I loved lavender, with its dusty grey potent leaves, and all of the sage family, with its scented leaves and purple or magenta flowers, and the sedums, with their heavy waxy leaves and glowing flowers late in the season, and some of the ornamental grasses, whose fronds waved delicately in the afternoon breeze of the foothills...
I was in love. Every spare second was spent in the garden. I belonged to the evening garden club, and even hosted a meeting when I was pregnant out to HERE with Jenny, just so everyone could see how lovely the garden was in the fall... And I hesitate to write this, but there was more to my gardening than just the plants or the scents or the beauty--in every moment of it, there was something profound and spiritual, deeply moving and satisfying...
And then came May of 2001, when I went to a garden tour in another foothill town north of here, saw a beautiful and magical garden, and returned home to find out that my mother had died.
And though it sounds unbelievable to even write the words, that was the day I stopped gardening.
I just stopped. And I know, there's no rhyme or reason to a decision like that, born of grief and who knows what other emotions. But there you are, I stopped gardening. My husband helped the roses survive by watering a few times each summer, as we get NO rainfall here from May till November, but I did nothing to keep my garden alive. I didn't even wander down to the garden to look around, although I do remember looking out the kitchen window every spring and fall to see the glorious riot of blooms on the roses that bordered the edge of the garden...and I'd smell the lilacs that bloomed every spring along the edge of the pool deck...and I'd enjoy the scent of the honeysuckle that wound its way through the tangle of roses alongside the patio...but actually garden? No.
And today? Why am I writing about all of this today?
Well, today I ventured down into the garden, where the paths are obscured by long spring grass, and took the clippers and pruned back some of my beautiful roses that have suffered so for the last seven years. I apologized as I cut, and felt them breathe a sigh of relief as I reached bare hands in amongst the prickly canes to pull the weeds growing so thickly around their necks. They've survived without my love and attention for so long, but amazingly I feel as though they've forgiven me for my desertion...
I feel as though I've come home after a long, long absence, and been welcomed back with love and forgiveness, the prodigal gardener, so to speak. And in this return is maybe, maybe, some healing and growth for my spirit as well as for my beloved roses. Maybe...
It's odd to me how an event can somehow manage to divide my life into before and after, how thinking about the before and after makes me uncomfortable and nervous and shaky, as though acknowledging it does--what?--gives it even more power? And I know that life is full of befores and afters, that every day, every moment, is a before and an after, and that somehow we all manage to keep going...But still, it's uncomfortable to write about it.
When Richard and I married we bought a house down in town. It had a California-sized backyard, which is to say, not very big, at least compared to Michigan standards. But I immediately started gardening. In fact, now that I think about it, even when I moved to California for my first teaching job at the tender age of twenty-one I rented an apartment that had a little mini-plot next to the back patio, which my mom and I planted during the week she spent out here helping me get settled in... And now that I really think about it, I even wanted to grow plants while I was at Michigan State. I remember during my senior year I potted a red geranium to sit on my bedroom windowsill (I love red geraniums in terracotta pots). It failed to thrive because we lived in a basement apartment, but the urge was there.
So I'm a gardener. Or I was a gardener. But I want to make the point that I've loved gardening for a very long, long time.
When we moved up into the foothills, I changed the pasture fence to create a large space for a garden, with paths and benches and birdbaths. I fell in love, absolutely totally crazy in love, with antique roses. These roses, the musks, bourbons, teas, chinas, and damasks, are the graceful, perfumed older sisters of today's gawky hybrid tea roses. They've lovely names, like Madame Isaac Periere, Louise Odier, Souvenir de la Malmaison, and Arrillaga, and the flowers take your breath away with their scent and their beauty.
And I didn't just love roses, oh no. I loved lavender, with its dusty grey potent leaves, and all of the sage family, with its scented leaves and purple or magenta flowers, and the sedums, with their heavy waxy leaves and glowing flowers late in the season, and some of the ornamental grasses, whose fronds waved delicately in the afternoon breeze of the foothills...
I was in love. Every spare second was spent in the garden. I belonged to the evening garden club, and even hosted a meeting when I was pregnant out to HERE with Jenny, just so everyone could see how lovely the garden was in the fall... And I hesitate to write this, but there was more to my gardening than just the plants or the scents or the beauty--in every moment of it, there was something profound and spiritual, deeply moving and satisfying...
And then came May of 2001, when I went to a garden tour in another foothill town north of here, saw a beautiful and magical garden, and returned home to find out that my mother had died.
And though it sounds unbelievable to even write the words, that was the day I stopped gardening.
I just stopped. And I know, there's no rhyme or reason to a decision like that, born of grief and who knows what other emotions. But there you are, I stopped gardening. My husband helped the roses survive by watering a few times each summer, as we get NO rainfall here from May till November, but I did nothing to keep my garden alive. I didn't even wander down to the garden to look around, although I do remember looking out the kitchen window every spring and fall to see the glorious riot of blooms on the roses that bordered the edge of the garden...and I'd smell the lilacs that bloomed every spring along the edge of the pool deck...and I'd enjoy the scent of the honeysuckle that wound its way through the tangle of roses alongside the patio...but actually garden? No.
And today? Why am I writing about all of this today?
Well, today I ventured down into the garden, where the paths are obscured by long spring grass, and took the clippers and pruned back some of my beautiful roses that have suffered so for the last seven years. I apologized as I cut, and felt them breathe a sigh of relief as I reached bare hands in amongst the prickly canes to pull the weeds growing so thickly around their necks. They've survived without my love and attention for so long, but amazingly I feel as though they've forgiven me for my desertion...
I feel as though I've come home after a long, long absence, and been welcomed back with love and forgiveness, the prodigal gardener, so to speak. And in this return is maybe, maybe, some healing and growth for my spirit as well as for my beloved roses. Maybe...
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Tonight At My House
I haven't managed to color correct this, but this is my livingroom tonight--fire crackling in the fireplace--a warm, welcoming place. Wish you all could come and hang out with me...
More Joel
Sue mentioned Joel's "textbook form" in the basketball shots the other day, and Richard pointed out that I didn't include the pic of Joel shooting, so here it is.
I'm going to paint today, just to get out of the (very clean) house and spend some time alone. (Too much togetherness makes Momma grumpy!)
Oh, and please do go visit Miss Doodle, the wonderful alter-ego of Andrea in Paris!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Slumber Party Invasion
Katie's got five girlfriends over tonight for a sleepover. The deal was that she had to clean house and I'd spring for pizza and soda and promise to make cheesy egg casserole for breakfast.
The girls are all here now, and they're sitting down in the family room talking--it sounds like a convention or something--lots of different conversations, lots of laughing, and (probably) lots of storytelling--I just heard something begin with "Oh, you know what my grampa does?"
Jenny got to invite one friend over, provided they stayed out of the big girls' way and weren't too high maintenance. Joel's gone to his best friend's house for the night--didn't have to encourage him to leave.
Such nice sounds, girls talking and having fun...
The girls are all here now, and they're sitting down in the family room talking--it sounds like a convention or something--lots of different conversations, lots of laughing, and (probably) lots of storytelling--I just heard something begin with "Oh, you know what my grampa does?"
Jenny got to invite one friend over, provided they stayed out of the big girls' way and weren't too high maintenance. Joel's gone to his best friend's house for the night--didn't have to encourage him to leave.
Such nice sounds, girls talking and having fun...
Friday, February 15, 2008
Joel's Last Basketball Game
Joel's team had their last game last night. These are some pictures from a few games ago; alas, not taken by me, as Joel would kill me if I stood down by the court snapping pictures...
Oh, and since the last basketball game was last night, the first baseball practice was this morning--Joel started at 8:15 a.m. and finished at 11:50 and loved every second of it...
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Busy, Busy, Busy!
Today is full to the brim; this time in the studio this morning is the only time I'll have to myself all day. At 12:30 I have to take muffins up to the school for Jenny's class party, then go out to the blacktop at 1 p.m. to watch Katie's school game (last one of the season, going for undefeated! Even cooler, the teacher who coaches the girls' "A" team played basketball for Richard when she was in high school!). After Katie's game, Jen and I will go home, then back to school to pick Katie up a 5 p.m. from play rehearsal--then down to Porterville to watch Joel's team in their last game of the season. It's against one of the other schools in town, so it's a big rivalry and the place will be jam-packed.
I'm having trouble with Blogger uploading my images, so I'll quit for now and paint like mad until I have to go to school...
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
She Knew Where She Was Going
She knew where she was going, though she did not know which path would take her there...
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Whew!
Last night was not as bad as I had imagined--isn't that the way it always is? The parents spoke, I said my piece (which was essentially that we, the board, are responsible for problems, and that ignoring them or covering them up is not enough), and then we finished the meeting. The board president said something under her breath when I finished, but other than that, all went well. I'm glad.
I really am not good at confrontation, or at least I don't enjoy it. But sometimes, you have to do the thing that's right, even if it's hard or unpleasant...
More art tomorrow!
I really am not good at confrontation, or at least I don't enjoy it. But sometimes, you have to do the thing that's right, even if it's hard or unpleasant...
More art tomorrow!
Monday, February 11, 2008
Here's What I'm Telling Myself
I know, you're probably all tired of hearing about my school board meetings. I have heard that some parents may come tonight (which is always a good thing), so here's what I'm telling myself:
1) I've done my best,
2) I haven't done anything wrong, and
3) I'm only one person on a five person board. If the others want to ignore a problem, then I can't really do much about it.
1) I've done my best,
2) I haven't done anything wrong, and
3) I'm only one person on a five person board. If the others want to ignore a problem, then I can't really do much about it.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
What I Love...
About my art: That when I just looked at a canvas I prepared last week by gluing down random book pages, I saw that the piece of sheet music was titled "FANTAISIE" and the call words were FLIGHT, PURSUIT, and SUCCESS...
About my friends: That they love me even when I'm not functioning very well...
About my husband: That he's going to go to my board meeting tomorrow night...
About my studio: That it's warm and cozy and I come here every weekday to create...
About my kids: That when I got home from picking Joel up at his friend's house today, Jenny was up in the tree house reading the newspaper and Katie was lying in the hammock (which subsequently came off its hook, dumping her unceremoniously on the ground, but that's another story)...
About my house: That it's roomy and bright and inviting, even though it's not fancy or squeaky clean...
About my dogs: That they all think that I'm the greatest, most exciting person on the face of the planet, no matter how out of sorts I am...
About my blog: That I've 'met' so many great people while sharing my life and my art...
What are the things YOU love? I'd like to know--leave me a link!
About my friends: That they love me even when I'm not functioning very well...
About my husband: That he's going to go to my board meeting tomorrow night...
About my studio: That it's warm and cozy and I come here every weekday to create...
About my kids: That when I got home from picking Joel up at his friend's house today, Jenny was up in the tree house reading the newspaper and Katie was lying in the hammock (which subsequently came off its hook, dumping her unceremoniously on the ground, but that's another story)...
About my house: That it's roomy and bright and inviting, even though it's not fancy or squeaky clean...
About my dogs: That they all think that I'm the greatest, most exciting person on the face of the planet, no matter how out of sorts I am...
About my blog: That I've 'met' so many great people while sharing my life and my art...
What are the things YOU love? I'd like to know--leave me a link!
Saturday, February 09, 2008
A Little Bit of Basketball
Katie had a game today, but we're done and home for the rest of the weekend, now. I'm glad. Lately I get jittery when I leave the house--school board meeting on Monday night, I'll be glad when it's over...
Friday, February 08, 2008
She Couldn't Decide
And neither can I! This one's something new I'm experimenting with--I really like her, but how about you?
Thursday, February 07, 2008
I Feel Like It Should Be Friday
IFLISBF? I guess it's not as catchy as TGIF...
Finished a couple of pieces today, including these. The words on the top one will be "As she walked away, she thought, "Home will always be there."
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
I've been experimenting lots with my sketching, and I'm amazed at what a difference little choices make! Big eyes or small? Wide-set or close together? Tilted up or tilted down or straight across? And the same with noses and mouths and chins and necks...So this girl looks somewhat different. But when I sketched her, there was just something about her that I liked. (Katie and Jenny say her hair should be white-blond, I'm not sure...Obviously, I still need to paint the background and her clothing and her chair...)
I'm also working on doing hands (for you, Lynn!) and want to start incorporating (maybe) some belongings for the girls...
Monday, February 04, 2008
Really Struggling Today
I dreamed of bizarre, ugly board meetings all night last night; I'd wake, go get a drink, go back to bed and jump right back into the dream.
Can't seem to stop the scary thoughts--the girls looked so sweet when I dropped them off at school this morning, walking up the little hill/walkway together, backpacks over their shoulders--and I thought of that, smiled, and then thought, panicked, "What if something happens at school today? What if I don't see them again?" and extrapolated that thought for four or five steps, imagining scenarios. I stopped myself, but my mind keeps circling around it like a horse who wants to head back to the barn--pulling around again and again to thoughts of tragedy and loss.
Not a good day, so far.
Going to try to paint.
Can't seem to stop the scary thoughts--the girls looked so sweet when I dropped them off at school this morning, walking up the little hill/walkway together, backpacks over their shoulders--and I thought of that, smiled, and then thought, panicked, "What if something happens at school today? What if I don't see them again?" and extrapolated that thought for four or five steps, imagining scenarios. I stopped myself, but my mind keeps circling around it like a horse who wants to head back to the barn--pulling around again and again to thoughts of tragedy and loss.
Not a good day, so far.
Going to try to paint.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
More Sketching
Lynn asks "What is a brush pen?"
It's a pen whose tip is shaped like a paint brush; when you press harder, you make a thicker line, softer and you get a very fine line.
The ones I bought a few days ago are made by Faber-Castell. I bought the Manga Set, which includes a fine tip and a medium tip in black, and then three warm gray brush tips and three cool gray brush tips, all in permanent, waterproof, pigment ink. You can order these from Amazon--and I've even put a link in the sidebar (isn't technology amazing?) If you want to, you can paint over these with acrylics--they won't smear. And they won't 'tack-up' the acrylics if you use the pens over the paint.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Sketching
I bought myself some grey-scale brush pens, to experiment with shading. It really adds a whole different dimension to the sketches, I think. I've been re-reading one of Danny Gregory's books about drawing and creativity, and I've really been inspired...
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