I dreamed of bizarre, ugly board meetings all night last night; I'd wake, go get a drink, go back to bed and jump right back into the dream.
Can't seem to stop the scary thoughts--the girls looked so sweet when I dropped them off at school this morning, walking up the little hill/walkway together, backpacks over their shoulders--and I thought of that, smiled, and then thought, panicked, "What if something happens at school today? What if I don't see them again?" and extrapolated that thought for four or five steps, imagining scenarios. I stopped myself, but my mind keeps circling around it like a horse who wants to head back to the barn--pulling around again and again to thoughts of tragedy and loss.
Not a good day, so far.
Going to try to paint.