I'm posting before I drive Katie and her friend to the nearest mall (45 minutes away). I'll drop them off, with strict instructions to stay together and in the building--they'll have a cell phone, I'll have a cell phone--I'll go to Borders and sit and read while they window shop.
It's sad, because my friends and I would go to the mall on weekends when I was in 7th grade, just to wander around and talk and window shop--we always shared a plate of crispy French fries at the drugstore restaurant/counter--and no one worried about us. Some of my fondest memories are hanging out with my friend Sue, trying on the same gorgeous pair of shoes every week until I finally had enough money saved up to get them (or not). Even so, I feel a tad guilty doing this. Maybe some of you are horrified that we would do this--and I don't know what to say except that we know Katie and her friend will follow our rules, call me to check in every hour, and have a great time.
This is one of those situations where being a parent is hard. You wonder 'what's the right thing to do? how do I answer these questions? how do I balance their desire for independence and fun with my safety concerns?' And the truth is, it's always a juggling act. Knowing that there are no right or wrong answers doesn't make it easier--in fact, it just may make it harder.
Hmmm.
And now, off to spend 45 minutes in the car with two teenage girls (who probably won't pay a bit of attention to me ;)
4 comments:
Karen:
I've been reading your site and I'm so inspired by your work that it makes me want to go down to my little art studio (which looks like yours) and which I've neglected because I am so spread out with diverse activities, full time work (therapist, Director), writing (fiction and marketing my book), family (wonderful husband who cooks and a 20 year old daughter in college).
I do relate to the piece about having a teenage daughter, I remember those days with my daughter, but now that she's passed the teen years, and she's driving the worries differ. I guess as parents we will always worry. Its true what you say, how do we balance supporting their independence and caring for them so deeply.
I thank you too for bringing other artist to your space and sharing it with all of us. Your truthfulness, and authenticity is encouraging. To be an artist one cannot be afraid...of the truth. I am always seeking balance between exposure and privacy.
You are so generous with your work and your process, as well as sharing the work of art of others with us.
Your site is an inspiration, a call to adventure, to dedicate more time to what matters so deeply to me: Art.
You can visit my website:http://www.annecybaez.com/
I have a blog, but I don't write as often as you. I should focus my blog like you do to art. A part of me wanted to do it on my writing, I write fiction, but then I have my website for that and so I wanted a place for art and where I can connect with other artist, so I will use your site as my mentoring site. Thanks again,
Annecy
I know exactly how you feel....35 years ago when I was 12, my best friend and I would often take the public bus to the mall 30 minutes drive away. We'd shop all day, alone, and also share some delicious treat at the McCrory's lunch bar. Then we'd catch the bus back to the train station in our town and walk the 2 miles home from there. Today's world has really jipped our kids....I wish they could have the freedom we had. At least there are cell phones so they can check in !! I hope you were able to relax long enough to enjoy your reading time at Borders. :)
I am so glad those days are behind me. (the raising teenagers part)And yes, the times have changed and it's too bad. I hope there are enough wonderful new inventions etc to make the change worthwhile to our youth of today. But I do know that long before teen years I had the freedom to jump on my bike and ride or walk all over town, no one knew where I was, I had a time to be home by and respected it...but had my adventures and somehow was always safe. Something I think my grandkids will never know, not the way we had it anyway.
Argh, My oldest daughters just went through this rite of passage, too. Walking the mall. I did the same thing, though. I sat in the coffee shop at Borders for 2 1/2 hours and tried in vain to decide which sketchbook journal to get before finally giving up and buying gourmet coffee. I have so many empty sketchbooks it would have been a waste. The coffee, though, an Italian Roast, is delicious. And it doesn't sit in my art cabinet making me feel guilty in the night.
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