I just got a comment from Kelly over at Kikipotamus the Hobo. She says that she has the same problem that I do: she wants to compare herself to others, especially during "Be Brave."
I want to share the things I'm doing, so I will. I'll keep trying to quiet that little voice in my head...
I've been out in the studio every day this week. I've taken pictures everyday, and painted, and sketched. For me, right now, this seems huge.
My sister never called me back; not a surprise, but not what I was hoping for. I called and said, "I miss you," and I suppose that's enough.
I also decided this week that I'm not going to run for the school board again. I've had many people, both teachers and parents, ask me to, but it has taken a real toll on me during the last four years. I know I've made a difference, and I know I could continue making a difference, but I'm tired. I'm tired of having certain people (only four people, actually) cast me as the bad guy just because I'm willing to face problems instead of trying to pretend that they don't exist.
A few weeks ago I found out that one of the four, someone whom I've considered a friend, has said to people that she "doesn't trust a word Karen Smithey says." I don't believe that I deserve that. I've never run around behind anyone's back--when I've seen problems I've always gone to the school and been open about them.
Anyhow, this decision is a big one for me. I love the school, and it's hard to say, "I don't want to do this anymore," especially when people in the community say, "But you're the only one who wants to deal with problems rather than cover them up or ignore them."
But if I listen to my intuition, I know that this is what I need to do. Quitting can be brave, too, can't it?